And if his interest in you is limited from the start, then things can only go so far. Communicate with the fellow as clearly and directly as possible to find out what he’s looking for in a relationship: “So, what are you looking for in a relationship? ” Your senses are on high alert, and you just can’t wait to pounce. Here was the lion, with its advanced hunting software doing what it’s been doing for eons… Now he has to rethink the whole situation, perhaps totally losing interest in this particular gazelle.” Imagine you’re a lion on the African savanna, stalking a gazelle. Then, suddenly, the gazelle sees you from the corner of its eye, turns around, and starts galloping towards you at full speed. This is not how things are supposed to go — I’m supposed to be the one chasing! Much simpler to deal with the script he’s familiar and prepared to deal with: Lion chase. This one has happened to me a lot, and it operates at such a primal, unconscious level that even I myself marvel at the speed and vehemence with which I lose interest when she starts chasing me more than I’m chasing her.He thinks you’re really cool and sexy, likes you a lot, but knows that if you two started dating seriously, you mesh so well you wouldn’t be able to break up, and you’re already 40 and not all that into having kids, and he kinda does want kids sometime this millennium. So you need to know what you’re getting yourself into, and to compare that with what you would like to get yourself into.
He actually likes you, but he finds your earnest Christian tendencies dampening his enthusiasm.
You’re thinking, “Aw man, this is going to be great. There was the girl who invited me to her senior year final dance in college who was all over me much more than I was all over her.
There was the super sweet, cute Midwestern girl in med school whom I tried so hard to charm.
Heck, I’m probably losing interest in someone right now, completely unbeknownst to myself but setting the mind of the poor lass on fire, and not necessarily in a good way.
One saving grace is that most people, male or female, usually aren’t doing this stuff deliberately.